Morning Dew

When I was dumped outside the orphanage, I was able to walk. I had been found in a basket, in the rain, with blood staining my clothes and bedding. The clan I was born into was one feared in the Land of the Moon for its consumption abilities. A veritable army had killed them, but one man couldn't bring himself to kill a 14-month-old, just slaughtered his parents in front of him.

I grew up around other children, some like me who had never met their parents if their memories served them well. When I was five, a childless couple came and told me to my face I was too ugly and creepy looking to be loved. But that didn't screw me up in the slightest, just made me refuse to look like myself for a very long time.

I was born with white curls and red eyes, you see, but my clan can alter how we look. It might be a form of genjutsu. I don't know how it works, nobody ever taught me, I just felt out the ropes for myself. Turning my hair and eyes blue weirded out some of the other kids though.

I entered and passed the academy at a young age, but mostly taught myself these things. After graduation, I was placed in a three man cell with a sadist with two-tone hair and a short ogre of a man. They hated me and once or twice even threw me right into danger. They long-since decided the best course of action with me would be to throw me to the lions to save their own worthless hides. I don't know if either of them are still alive or not. They were the ones who helped me discover my chakra and life force consumption abilities though. As I said, threw me to the enemy. For a laugh, they said with shaky voices afterwards. It had been in self-defense and I had remained horrified and traumatised for the rest of forever. I'd fought three over-pumped muscleheads from the Hidden Sand and turned them into skeletal masses. Yeesh, and they thought their village had demons. No wonder my clan was murdered.

After that, which had been my chunin exams, I ran from Getsugakure, afraid of the person I was. Also I shaved the right side of my head and decided 'hey, that looks cool, I'll keep doing that and pierce my ears until there's no more room for holes'. The douchebag punk look. Hey, I was, like, twelve.

Then I traveled the world, looking for somewhere I could belong. I didn't find it then, I just found lots of girls I could seduce with a little bit of change to looks and approach. I tried not to kill those I took chakra from, and as a plus even obtained ability to use their chakra nature. I once fought someone who could use a mix of ice, water and boil releases. I'd have liked to have taken his chakra.

I kept this up until I hit 18, 19, somewhere around that point. That was when I set foot in Sunagakure. I'd become reliant on the rush of power that came with consuming someone's chakra and life. It had reached the point where I either had to consume powerful chakra or a lot of it to get the rush I craved. I was addicted. It was a morphine and adrenaline all in one, crushing down the circumstances of the past and giving me the rush I needed to surge forth. And I'd been drawn in by the powerful chakra I sensed on my way through the desert.

Only one problem. It belonged to a man.

Controlled absorption, the kind not initiated in a life or death struggle, I'd only learnt to activate through physically reaching inside my target and pulling vital forces out. I usually did so with my tongue, otherwise they might figure something is very suspicious. Even so, for that to work, I had to get way closer. In other words, the reason I turned to seduction tactics was because I could only retrieve the chakra through a French kiss of all the stupid and pathetic things. At least it was always fun to play with these girls.

So I went for the next best thing, a girl whose body had traces of the man's chakra signature. The object of the Kazekage's affections. Hey, really the guy should be thanking me for targeting the girl. If I hadn't, he wouldn't have accepted his feelings, whereas when he confronted me after a month of being teased about being jealous of me, I was able to trick him into confessing.

Heck, I was practically cupid, and they're married now with, what, four kids? See? I helped him by trying to steal that girl's chakra. He didn't have to squish my leg beyond repair.

Oh, and I learnt why people fear the 5th Kazekage that day. He got my left leg in a lock with his sand and crushed it, but let me live. Maybe that was his thanks for helping him tell the girl he liked her, even if I did try and kill her. I managed to stagger to the border between Wind and Fire before collapsing.

When I awoke, I was in a little holiday house with some adult genin of Kumo. Some giant medical nin in a heavy black coat, all muscle and greasy hair, Shai. Great guy, didn't like me much. A dark-skinned hyper kid I barely saw, Seicho. The most gorgeous woman I'd ever seen, Murasakiiro.

They saw me as I looked naturally, which was embarrassing, but they didn't seem to understand why I wanted to change so much.

Murasakiiro even said I was gorgeous as I was. A girl I never had to use chakra on to get her to like me. It was really weird, but then that's why we ended up married. Funny. I never actually thought I'd settle down somewhere. I thought I'd spend my entire life wandering around, being a menace to every society in the world. I liked it that way, actually, but I happily went with this gorgeous girl to Kumo where everything was weird. Actually, Kumogakure was a gorgeous land. If I had to settle somewhere, I'm glad it was there. Still, I hated the idea of settling there.

It was a Monday morning when she made a worrying announcement. I was bored. I'd been bored for a week now as things were being sorted out concerning my checkered past. Then she came bursting into the bedroom, all hot and bothered like she'd just run a marathon.
"Asatsuyu!"
I turned and gave her an indifferent look. "Did something happen? Whatever it was, looks exciting."
"Oh, it's exciting! You'll never believe it!" She ended that sentence with a girlish squeal. I raised an eyebrow, somewhat disgusted by this behaviour.
"Two for one at the higashi place?"
She gave me a blank look before laughing. "You're so silly."
"...Did you get higashi?"
"No, Asatsuyu. I got something more...important."
"Nothing's more important than higashi!" I insisted in a scandalised tone.
"Shut up and listen for a moment."
I obediently shut my trap and gestured for her to continue. She went a little red, embarrassed and shy concerning what was about to happen. What she was about to tell me would be a bombshell that would change my entire life and get me into a whole heap of endless trouble. My ever-continued descent into hell.
"We...I'm...Oh, Asatsuyu! We're going to have a baby!"

I just want it known that pregnant women are terrifying, even if you are a whole ninja rank above them. They demand and whine and scream and run on pure hormonal get it away from me. I used to even hide in the closet for some peace and quiet. Plus side, I discovered a secret room at the back of the closet that led down to the bathroom. That room is important for later.

So I went through seven and a half months of my beloved wife turning into the devil himself, then she went into early labour and went to the midwife without me (I was slowed down by my bad leg, which still had not healed fully. Something about too many bone fragments and now some of them are likely lodged in muscles or nerves or tendons or something stupid like that), and eventually I witnessed the birth of my daughter.

I am not afraid to admit I was horrified to see she had white hair and red eyes like me. Not only am I sure those are both recessive genes, but that likely meant she had my clan abilities. That in turn meant I'd have to teach her to use them and not kill people by accidentally stealing their chakra. I hate responsibility and I've had precious little first-hand contact with little kids. In the orphanage I was mostly kept around kids in my own age range for safety reasons. I was 90% sure I was going to be terrible at this. Still, at least I had the child's mother to work alongside.

Not.

It was, I don't know, three, maybe four months after that that Murasakiiro died.

I awoke in the middle of the night to a strange sound. Strange yet familiar. Like someone hammering into a hunk of meat with a cleaver, accompanied by pained gurgles and grunts. Those of a woman. A woman being murdered and just clinging onto life. A cold ice seized my heart, and barely able to breathe for fear of what I was about to see, I crept out of bed, confirming as I did so that my wife was absent but my daughter still in her cradle. I got to the living room and saw two or three men hacking into her. Her throat, face, stomach, limbs, every single square inch oozing or gushing blood. One eye had already been gouged out. She noticed me with the other, I think. It looked hazy and unseeing. She tried to say something with her last ounce of energy, but the blood in her mouth and throat caused it to come out as an urgent gurgle. I think the essential message was for me to run and take our baby somewhere safe.

Except nowhere would ever really be safe. It turns out these were the same people who slaughtered the rest of my clan, and my exploits around the world had drawn their attention to me. I hated to think how long they'd been tracking me. Panicking, I grabbed the baby roughly from her cradle as the men shouted. They too had noticed me and were now giving chase. I kept thinking this isn't happening, this can't be happening!...But it was. It was happening and it was all too real. I locked myself into the closet, biting my tongue hard to keep from sobbing. Not that it would make any difference. They'd seen me go in there and the baby was now screaming her lungs out. Though I'd killed before, I'd never gotten used to seeing dead bodies, and bloody ones freaked me out. I'd have nightmares for years.

Slowly, I backed my way into the secret room, ensuring I shut the door behind me properly so it was virtually undetectable. The men were trying to break down the first door, and if I wanted to live, I had to keep us both quiet. I desperately tried to shush her, begged her to be silent as the sound of splintering wood and furious screams terrified the both of us. I was crying myself now, the fear that this was my grisly end becoming all too real. I was going to die, I was sure of it, and it was a horrfying and painful thought. They'd torture us both as they did to Murasakiiro, whose only crime was loving me. I...I'd always known I was no good. Creepy, ugly, dangerous monster.

They broke through the first door and I backed away to the ladder leading down to the bathroom closet. I couldn't climb it while carrying an infant, and if I jumped down my right leg was liable to snap. I crouched down and covered my mouth and nose with one hand. My daughter had managed to quiet herself to a whimper, perhaps tired. I heard the men arguing about where I might have gone, heard them searching for a seam, jostling to all fit in the closet, one hitting the hidden door in frustration. I was having to suppress my absorption abilities. If I lost control, I'd kill the baby as well.

Footsteps receded. I was beginning to think I'd gotten away with it, I'd given them the slip, but then someone charged the hidden door, slamming it open. I shrieked and, panicking, tried to charge past him. His colleagues had gone to look elsewhere, it seemed. I shoulder-barged my way past, only the man had already started swinging his weapon - a morning star I think - and it slammed down on my head. I was a head and shoulders shorter than the man, so I guess it wasn't a difficult target. The world pitched sideways and I hit the floor, mind quickly hazing over. Cursing, I tried to get my limbs to move, lift me back up. Every breath I took was accompanied by another swing, another scream of pain. I doubled over, protecting my baby's body with my own at all cost.

Finally, my mind connected to my body and my leg swung out and up, catching the attacker's knee against the doorframe. There was a satisfying crunch and he screamed. This gave me an opening to scramble to my feet (easier said than done, as every movement sent shoots of pure agony through my entire upper body, and every breath made the room pulse in and out of focus) and escape. I paused to grab the morning star and reluctantly bring it down on the man's head. It was self defense, I told myself with a shudder as I staggered to the stairs, only to see shadows moving below. A wave of nausea and dizziness almost brought me to my knees again. Panicking, I went to the living room as quick as I could. The area below that window would have a canopy to catch me and nearby ledges to escape through. I leaped over my wife's body, smashed the window with my foot (getting glass in there in the process, oops) and escaped out, speeding to the edge of the village, out as far as I could until I reached a thin woodland. Here, my legs gave out and I dropped like a sack of potatoes. I had the sense to place my baby girl out of the way before emptying my guts on the grassy floor and succumbing to the dark circles at the edge of my vision that had been threatening to pull me into the sweet embrace of a poor man's sleep.

I must have been out for hours. When I awoke, it was a late afternoon and my daughter was crying. Likely hungry, thirsty or in need of changing. Just sitting up straight was painful enough to almost knock me out again, and my mouth felt dry as cardboard. A few things were clear to me even in my addled state. I needed a doctor and I needed to find a village, and soon. Once more, I forced myself to my feet, making a slow, lurching journey to who knows where.

From that moment on, we were hunted left, right and centre. I was constantly running yet again, only this time with a baby on my back. I raised her with no home, no money and no hope, but still managed to get her to seven years old. I did my best to teach her about the world, but couldn't tell her why we were always moving, why she never had any friends, why she had to comfort her own father after his ever present night terrors...

She was a beautiful girl though. Her hair curled as mine once did, and when she was three I gifted her a ribbon I'd found so she could accessorise. It became a precious thing to us both in time.

When we met Eien-sama, she was about five. He was about 11 years my junior, but had never been so brutally injured as I had. He saved our lives when our hunters located us one day, and offered a home in return for us serving him. A safe place with food and water and warm bedding. With a sad child hanging on my arm, a girl who wanted nothing more than that, I couldn't refuse. I pledged my allegiance to this kid in return for the safety and happiness of my precious daughter. I went on infiltration and espionage missions for him, and then one day, two years later, he needed someone with my clan's abilities to be a body double.

A body double for a seven year old girl from the Hidden Stone. I refused  at first, not wanting my precious baby anywhere near danger, but then he threatened to throw us both out...

And insisted she would come to no harm.

Her role would be that of the young, sweet, innocent daughter of the 4th Tsuchikage. A little girl with a dead leg like mine, dark brown ringlet curls and dark eyes. We worked to turn her into the perfect body double before some kid, Touwata or something stupid, took her in the dead of night to make the switch and kidnap the little girl from Iwa. She looked so proud of herself as she left.

A week later, Touwata returned with the struggling little girl of the 4th. Eien-sama started running experiments on her, something about a powerful bloodline limit running in her family. It sounded painful, and I did my best not to hear.

Some time later, I heard the daughter of the 4th had been assassinated. Except it wasn't the 4th's daughter, it was mine. Once again, that grip of ice returned, that inability to breathe for all the emotions filling my chest and crushing my lungs. I never saw her body, but that was just as well. Just hearing the news crushed me, shattered my heart into a million pieces.

With all of them gone, everyone who ever cared, there was no longer a reason to live, apart from maybe revenge. That night, I'd grabbed a sword, I believe it belonged to one of Eien-sama's other underlings. I crept to his room and made my attempt on his life, desperate and angry. I didn't even think to use my clan abilities, I just slashed out wildly. The death of my wife had broken me already, and the death of my daughter pushed me far over the edges of sanity.

This man...this kid had some strange powers himself. He had great speed and strength, and was capable of strengthening his skin to an almost iron material. He could detach limbs and control tendrils of what appeared to be thick, wiry hair. I couldn't defeat him. I was weak.

He pinned my hands to the wall and before I knew it, he was holding a sort of spear. He drove it through my belly and through the wall, pinning me there with a wave of agony. Instantly, I felt chakra surge through. Whatever the hell this spear was, it was keeping me alive, but in pain. At least my body would eventually get used to it. In the meantime, I was coughing up blood, choking on the mashing of my own internal organs. Eien-sama laughed cheerfully.
"Hurts, doesn't it? This is what you get for double-crossing me."
"You...krghled......hurr..." It was so hard to speak.
"Pardon?"
"My...drr...ter..."
"Ah, I see. You're mad at me because your worthless waste of a life child got herself killed on a mission."
I lashed out weakly with one arm. Though I hit, I caused no damage. He laughed again.
"Don't like me saying things like that?" He kicked my knee hard, but I barely registered it over the increasing pain in my gut. Why was it getting worse?! I vomited, the pain overriding every instinct in my mind as I started to scream and cry, empty my bladder and bowels and writhe around, trying to get free. Such attempts only jogged the bar, tearing my flesh. "What we have here is a weapon formed from research into the kekkei genkai of the Kinzokuhaku clan." He explained. My brain vaguely pulled a file, recognising the name as that of Shai, Murasakiiro's former team mate. "It won't hurt forever, just as long as I'm angry. It's linked to my emotions. Anger means pain for those who betray us. Your child died a pointless and pathetic death in her sleep at the hands of a man who sensed something amiss. She deserved what she got, and you deserve what you get. I'll send someone round to care for you and sustain you, though the most you'll be able to eat is a teaspoon of mush."
"P-please..." I managed, trying to beg for my life. He walked off and left me. I wouldn't get a decent conversation for another year, when two experiments escape and free me.

A worthless, pained failure. I spent every waking moment in there wishing I could just die and join my family. My clan was extinct, I had no purpose other than to be this twisted young man's plaything. A decoration. Worse than being hunted. I became one of his experiments.

My name was Asatsuyu. It meant 'morning dew'. I started full of hope and love and excitement for the life that awaited me, and I stand here now, weak and worthless. Yearning for my past and youth to return so I could undo the many mistakes I made. Wish I could hold my beautiful baby girl one last time before I died...

I still hold that ribbon I gave her in my bony hand, held forever in an iron grip, as something unbearably precious to me.