It seemed to Hiro that he would never find someone he was compatible with. He would forever be a meister without a weapon. Still, perhaps that would suit him down to the ground. Perhaps he should just give up and chase a different path in life. Well, his parents wouldn't approve, that much he knew, but he had been a failure in their eyes for a very long time. He was a failure in everyone's eyes. Heck, he might as well give up on life altogether.
Being a weapon's meister had actually been one of his dreams, after all. The last dream he could cling to. He thought all this over as his pen flashed across paper in the middle of class. He wasn't paying any attention to the lesson, not really. Just thinking about how nothing ever seemed to go right, about how every option slammed shut on him, ran through his fingers like sand. Just as he thought he may get somewhere, may finally succeed, everything would flip on him and dump him back into that age old despair. Not that he'd admit that to anyone. Not that they'd care much if he did. Yet another failure had just been added to his books and he wanted nothing more than to lie in bed, sleep and never wake up again. At least maybe asleep he could live his dreams.
He left the classroom with the rest of the student body, recreating motions of old like clockwork. Between classrooms, dormitories, restrooms and whatnot. He passed the missions board without a single glance, averting his eyes from everyone he passed, just waiting for the school day to be over. God, the sooner he could throw himself under his duvet and pretend nothing existed, the better. His mind was running over hundreds of what ifs, from what if he'd taken his mother's advice and pursued a career in accounting to what if he'd never been born. There was a familiar sting in the back of his eyes. Tears that came to him with his darker thoughts but that were never shed. He'd never cried in public, not since he was an infant. He always ensured he was alone beforehand, if he ever took the time to let his emotions loose. It just...never seemed safe to. If he dared let loose, anyone who caught on or happened to witness it would make his life even worse, he was sure of it.
Still, holding back emotion wasn't easy. It was like building a temporary dam before a raging rapid. The damn would never hold forever. It was weak, and got weaker and weaker by the second, until finally the splinters and cracks that run along it blast apart, and everything flows forward in a rage stronger than ever before. It wouldn't be a pleasant sight to see and would likely result in dripping snot. Fearing that sight being seen by another breathing soul, he quickened his pace, weaving in and out of other students seamlessly, as though this slalom had been practiced hundreds of times before. He took the stairs two at a time, snapping at himself internally for taking so damned long.
It was halfway to the dormitory, emotions already starting to break free of his internal dam, when he realised he'd forgotten his stupid bag. An entire, great, big bag, abandoned on the desk in one of the classrooms, like a complete genius. It wasn't the first time he'd done something absolutely 'genius', not by a long shot. It wasn't even the dumbest thing he'd done. No, that was a story he didn't want to recount. He paused and wiped his eyes, considering things for a moment. It would be better to go back and get it when he was a little less emotional. By then the school would be mostly deserted, apart from a few stragglers and people who also had secrets they wanted no-one to know. No-one would question him. Still, he would hurry in and out.
Until then, he stepped into the shower, fully clothed and with a pillow to muffle his frustrated screaming. He made sure to sit away from the spray of water and for good measure turned on the radio, ensuring no-one would hear this somewhat loud emotional outburst. God damn it, sometimes he hated himself so much. The useless, failure side, the worthless part that constantly ensured he'd never succeed, and ensured everyone around him said the same. The part of him that earned him the degrading title of 'worst meister'. Like he needed even more ridicule. Ah, but supply was clearly much higher than demand. He would probably forever be the pathetic one nobody liked. The one on the sidelines, the one everyone else used to further themselves. His failures were their successes, and so it was only ever a problem for him.
It was starting to get dark when he finally emerged from the bathroom and started slowly on back to the school. For some reason, when he got inside, he wanted to get out quickly as possible. Perhaps it was that he wasn't supposed to be there that late, and the idea of breaking the rules rang badly with part of his subconscious. He once again hurried through the halls, ignoring the ill feeling in his gut as best he could. He was just here to get his bag, that was all, no problem there. After all, he needed his wallet tonight if he wanted something to eat (which he didn't, he wasn't feeling hungry, but it would still make a fair excuse), so surely he couldn't get in trouble.
Not unless he caught his foot while running up the stairs, ended up falling on his face, striking the most sensitive point on his head hard against the edge of a step and blacking out, possibly even leaving a little blood on the staircase. Then when someone found his unconscious body, he might end up getting in a bit of hot water, especially if nothing more than a staircase and his own clumsiness knocked him out.
As just that happened, he had just about enough time to think a stream of curses before losing consciousness.
~*~*~*~*~
Jacqueline didn't really have any excuse for being there that late, other than to spend more time being her usual supportive-best-friend-self with Kim. Somewhere along the way, she'd gotten roped into helping a member of staff transport boxes of supplies while Kim escaped to her nice, warm bed. Suffice to say, she was not amused as she transported another box between classrooms. Dumping the box on a nearby desk, she turned and leaned against it, getting her breath back and glancing around. The same old empty desks and stupid board, and a pristine white side bag stuffed to the brim, dumped unceremoniously on the floor.
Wait a second, that shouldn't have been there. Scowling, she went to check it out, flicking open the flap and taking out a few items to check them for names. A few interesting novels, a notebook full of nonsensical writing, class notes and strange doodles, a pair of muddy gym shoes, a relatively light wallet...was there a library card inside? God, she hoped the owner didn't come in to see her snooping and accuse her of stealing or something.
Then again, locating the library card told him it was just Hiro. No bother there. She piled everything back inside and picked up the bag, deciding she could just drop it off at the boys' dorm on the way back, or hand it in to a member of staff to ensure the boy got it back eventually. God, it was heavy. How many stupid legend books did he have in there anyway? Heaving a sigh, she ambled away from the classroom, back to the stairs. It took her a while to notice there was someone lying there, a puddle of drool and a drop or two of blood near his head. Immediately, she dumped the bag and went to the boy's side
Hiro again. Honestly, that boy was a walking disaster. Sighing, she thumped him on the back. "Hey, wake up."
No response. Predictably. He was out like a goddamn light. Then again, his head didn't look in best shape. Sighing again, she heaved him up by the arms, pulling him to the closest piece of level floor. It looked like he'd managed to twist his ankle as well, but otherwise that was it. There was a little dried blood on his wrist, but that couldn't have been caused by the fall. Possibly scratched it on something in passing. She had no intention of thinking of alternative causes. Nope, not interested. She didn't want to know anything about his secret feelings anyway, no matter how...sad they may be. Anyway, looking at the gash on his head, she decided she ought to get him to the nurse's office. She bent down to lift him, and unexpectedly, he clung to her as she got him off the ground, groaning as he came to.
"Hiro?"
Unaware of where he was or who was holding him at first, he snuggled into her. He was still half trailing across the ground, and she tried to get him to stand. God, he was heavy.
"Hiro! Let go of me."
His eyes fluttered open and he groaned again, one hand flying to his head, the other staying wrapped around Jacqueline's shoulders. He still seemed...not totally there. "Hang on...hang on..."
He waited a moment for the world to realign itself, then stepped away from the girl only to stumble on his injured ankle and fall with a yelp. Jacqueline rolled her eyes as he rubbed the offending joint. Every movement sent another throb of pain through some part of his body. After a moment, the lantern girl pulled him up again. "Please tell me these injuries weren't just you being clumsy, doofus."
He was silent for a moment, following her along. "Perhaps, but I guess that's why I was thinking of leaving."
She stopped then, turning to fix him with a none-too-pleased expression. "Leaving?"
"Not really doing much around here. I might just go home and try my hand at...being an accountant."
She looked at him for a long moment. "Or you could do something you'd enjoy. Preferably anything that doesn't make you pull a face at the mere mention."
"It doesn't make me pull a face!"
"Accountant." She stated loudly, watching his face contort in disgust. She repeated the unpleasant word a few times to help get her point across.
"Okay! Fine, I don't want to do any stupid mundane job, leave me alone!"
"What do you want to be?"
"A weapon's meister..."
"Then...why leave?"
"It's not really worth staying here." He answered with a shrug. "I never really get anywhere is all. Unless deeper in the magical hole of self-hatred counts." He muttered the last part to himself, but their close proximity meant Jacqueline still heard it. Once again, she found herself uttering an exasperated sigh.
"You just haven't found your niche yet. Maybe your failure to resonate souls with anyone just means you've got a special wavelength. Maybe you're destined for great things and you need to find the partner who's just as powerful and, um, unusual." All the words sounded thick and strange coming from her mouth, but the guy was clearly in a dark place.
"Yeah, sure." He muttered, clearly not having any faith. Then again, neither did she. The rest of the journey to the nurse's office was in silence.
At first, it seemed nobody was there. Jackie sat Hiro down on one of the beds and looked him over. He gazed back with a dull look, as though he couldn't care less what happened next. Rolling her eyes, Jackie turned away, rummaging around until she came back with some sticky plasters. She placed one on his forehead, and despite the resulting wince, then went on to grab his hands and roll back his sleeves, ensuring the cuts on his arms were protected as well. "You know, everyone's got a future out there." She told him as she worked to wash away any excess blood. "It just takes a hell of a lot to find it." He arched an eyebrow quizzically. "You see, Hiro, if you really want to be a meister, if it's really right for you, there's a weapon out there somewhere that's gotta be compatible. If not, there has to be other things you enjoy. You sure move like a dancer a lot, maybe you could try that."
He offered a soft shrug in response. "Clearly I'm not meant to be a meister though. I'm 'the worst meister', after all. I'm only good for running your errands and tripping over my own feet, huh?"
A slight wave of guilt hit her, but she shrugged it off. It was stupid to feel bad for that. Sure, she'd happily joined the band wagon on hammering in his general uselessness, and lord knows she had been hard on him after that ridiculous 'Hiro the Brave' fiasco. Why not? He'd been a complete pervert and beyond jackassery. It wasn't even like it was her actions alone that deflated his ego so completely.
"Kids like to tease. You know why?" He once again arched an eyebrow as Jackie leaned in to whisper. "They're jealous. They're jealous so they drag you down and crush you into the dirt until they no longer have reason to be jealous, then keep you down there to keep their own stupid egos burning."
After a moment, she drew away.
"Why would they be jealous of me?"
She thought for a moment. "You're attractive, you have a nice body, graceful, you can take a lot of shit before you fall to shit...resilience, that's the word. Just..." Her eyes went back to his arms once more. "Just don't hurt yourself any more, okay?"
He followed her gaze and sighed. "Why bother?"
At that point, Jacqueline just swallowed her pride and took his hands. "Listen, Hiro, I don't want to see another kid die because of bullshit feelings that just want to eat away at who you are. You're more than these feelings and believe it or not, right now I care about you." Much to his surprise, she drew him into a hug. "I care and I don't want you to hate yourself. I want you to love yourself like I love you."
"Like you...?"
She wasn't completely aware of what she was saying by that point, just letting her soul spill out to this annoying yet undoubtedly attractive boy. Really, her mind was simply thrown back to unpleasant memories of the past. Another close person she had lost to depression. "I'd stay up with you all night if it might help." At this point she released his hands and instead threw her arms around him, eyes shut tight. "No-one deserves to feel like this and you don't have to be alone, okay? Just...just please don't hurt yourself like this any more. Please don't take it any farther. Just...just stay the you you've always been. The you I like. The clumsy, stupid, meek as hell you that actually seems endearing and sweet, before we ever knew you had a dark side. Just be him and...be okay. I'd love nothing more than for you to be okay."
There was a painfully long silence. Eventually, he responded with naught but a slight nod. Jackie pulled back with a sigh. "I found your bag, by the way, Hiro...would you, um, like to crash with me and Kim tonight? Just so you aren't alone?"
He held himself back from replying too eagerly, again just giving a slight nod. Just that little bit of kindness was helping him feel a bit better, and from her after all.
God, how he loved her...
Sunday, 28 June 2015
Tuesday, 23 June 2015
An Unexpected Turn
It was raining. Not heavily, but the odd droplet was still making itself known as he made his way home. His mother would no doubt be pissed off that he was home so late, but he could always claim work overran or something and hope she bought it. And hey, as long as he was quiet coming in, she may never find out.
He shivered slightly, and blamed it on the cold. There was something in the air that made him feel a little...unsafe. Not that he had to worry. He was a tough guy, the kind who was hard to beat down, and most of the kids in school knew that. He gave an internal chuckle, feeling sorry for anyone who dared try anything with him. Even so, he sped up a little, deciding he wouldn't mind getting home a little bit quicker.
The rain started to get a little heavier and he raised the hood of his coat, tucking his hands into his armpits in a vain attempt to stave off the cold. Could have sworn it wasn't that cold a moment ago. Maybe it was the distant voice making a grip of ice form around his heart...a voice, weak and desperate, begging for someone else to stop whatever they were doing, calling for help. A second voice, this time a man, called for silence.
Kai, the young man who by this point just wanted to go home and huddle into his bed, rounded the corner cautiously, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. He heard the sound of skin on skin as the offending man supposedly hit the girl crying for help. Now, random acts of heroism were hardly Kai's thing. In fact, he'd much rather just carry on and pretend he never heard or saw anything, but the struggling girl turned her head away from her attacker and after a moment, caught his eye. There was no doubt he'd been seen, so just walking past and pretending nothing was happening or standing around watching would no doubt get him in deep water. This girl was one he recognised. They went to the same school, were in the same class. And god damn it, it was that one hot girl that he really liked but who really hated him. What damn luck.
Then again, as the attacking man lifted the schoolgirl's skirt (a short denim thing that already showed a lot of leg) with one hand and unzipped himself with the other, he had to admit he felt a tinge of annoyance at least, a bubbling anger at most. He didn't want to make it seem like he cared too much about this girl, especially since she hated his guts, and he was said to have a bad attitude when it came to women himself, but only a desperate creep would take advantage of another person like that. Kai was neither desperate nor a creep and he certainly didn't do rape. He'd gladly flirt and use his own charms to get off with a chick (and usually he was successful. Only the very best seemed able to resist Kai's advances) but if he was the kind to sink to such disgusting and dishonest means to get a bit of pleasure from a particularly hot girl, he would have dragged that particular girl to a dark corner against her will too many times to count by this point in time.
At first, he wasn't aware he was moving. Heck, he'd probably had all that thought while his legs surged onward. By the time he realised what he was doing he was almost there, with just enough time to raise his fist to strike the bastard pinning the girl he loved down.
Did he just refer to her as 'the girl he loved'?
Oh never mind, he had to focus here as the bastard staggered back. "What the fuck?" He started, glancing over and finding his eyes level with...Kai's jaw. Damn, this guy was short. At least he was compared to the redhead in front of him.
Still, if a guy that much taller than you came up and hit you in the face, you'd be intimidated, and that was something Kai loved about himself. That indomitable talent for making others quake in their shoes.
"Listen, freak, the girl said to stop, so I'd suggest you stop." He'd never felt so protective over someone before, and the words sure as hell didn't come naturally to him. It felt so awkward telling someone off for taking advantage of a scantily-dressed woman, even though most level-headed people would condemn it in a second. Not that most level-headed people would actually step in to save someone. Most people would actually ignore the screams and walk away, so really that made this...pretty damn heroic. Strange, Kai was probably the least heroic person he knew.
The 'freak', as he had labelled him, tried to make himself look taller and tougher. "Give me a break, man, look at her! She's asking for it!"
And once again, before he knew what was happening, he'd punched the man again and even raised his voice. "Get out of my sight, you little fuck, before I call the cops on your fat, greasy ass!"
The man stepped back then. "Yeah, you just want her to yourself, I know your game!"
Kai raised his fist again and the man hurried away. Next to this commotion, the girl was straightening her skirt and trying to get her breath back. After a moment, he turned to her, lowering his hand and his voice once more. "You okay?"
"Yeah, fine..." There was a long pause before she uttered a small thanks and went to leave. He quickly fell into step with her.
"You want me to walk you home?" He asked. It wasn't along his way, but he could still make sure she didn't run into the freak or anyone worse again.
She shook her head quickly, obviously thinking what the freak had said. "No thanks, I don't feel safe walking with a stranger."
"I'm not a stranger, Tohko." He lowered his hood and shook out his hair, giving her a smirk. Her worried face slowly formed a scowl.
"Oh. You."
"Yeah, me, and you might want to be a bit more polite. I just saved you."
"I could've gotten out of that myself just fine, Shimada."
"Yeah, sure, that's why you were practically screaming for help. What are you doing out so late dressed like that for anyway?"
"Mitsuki's birthday party." She walked on and he shrugged, following. "Why are you out so late?"
"Work overran." He lied. Okay, truth was he'd been on one of his little vandalism sprees, but that hardly mattered, did it?
She arched an eyebrow, obviously not believing him, but let it slide. No snark comments for tonight. They just walked along in silence. It was probably the nicest she'd been to him for a long time. She probably had no clue he lived in the other direction, and if she did, she made no comment about it. Maybe she was just grateful to have someone with her after that near-disaster. It wasn't an awkward silence by any means. At least, Kai was certainly comfortable. maybe he was just happy to be in her presence without her spitting nasty words at him.
All too soon, they reached the Kirisaki house, and Tohko bid him goodbye, escaping into her home as quickly as she could. Perhaps she no longer felt safe in the all-encompassing darkness of the streets. He hung around a moment or two, as though trying to regain his bearings, before turning back the way he'd come and making his way back home. For a moment he felt eyes on his back, as though Tohko were watching him from her bedroom window, but it was a very brief feeling and all too soon, her gaze had left him. He felt a slight smile grace his features. It felt strange to do something so good for a change. He just hoped it wouldn't get out and ruin his reputation.
~*~*~*~*~
Tohko had been tempted to stay out of school the next day, it had to be said. Even so, she was less inclined to tell her mother what had happened, and it was obvious she wasn't feeling sick, so she did her hair as usual and dressed quickly before heading to school, deciding to get there as quickly as she could.
It seemed like a painfully normal day. She spent her time with Emi and Mitsuki as per usual, talking about the usual things, with the odd interruption to speak about the party last night and how annoyed their parents where about their latecomings and dress sense. Tohko didn't say anything about what had happened after they'd all split off. She'd noticed after a moment that Kai wasn't in, but that wasn't in her head for long. He came in late every now and then anyway. He was a model for a magazine, so his work sometimes intersected his schooling, and he would probably turn up at lunchtime with his usual abrasive attitude. It would be unlikely that he would say anything about last night either.
When lunchtime finally arrived, Mitsuki heaved a sigh. "Okay, Tohko, you've been acting off all day. What's wrong?"
She looked up, confused. As far as she was concerned, she'd been acting the same as she always did.
"What do you mean?" She asked after a moment, doing her best to sound unimpressed. Even so, it came out squeaky.
"You're jumping whenever someone brushes against you, you keep zoning out, you're looking around all the time..."
Emi spoke next. "Did something happen?"
Tohko shook her head fervently. She jumped when she heard the door to the classroom open, looking to the door in a fright only to see Kai finally arriving, only to dump his bag, look through it, curse once or twice as he shoved things aside, then leave without the bag. There was a moment of silence before she decided to use the interruption to change the subject. "Someone got up on the wrong side of bed."
"Don't change the subject." Mitsuki scolded. "It's rude. Now come on, we're just worried about you, Tohko-san. What's wrong?"
To be honest, if she didn't tell anyone, she may have burst with all the stress left over. After an internal debate that seemed to take forever, she agreed to tell.
When she'd finally finished, she felt tears on her cheeks. Her friends looked absolutely horrified. "At least someone stopped him before it got too far." Emi managed.
"Yeah, it could have been worse...just...thank god you're okay, you know?"
"I'm super sorry I left you to go home alone..."
Tohko shook her head. "Hey, I was sure I could take anything. I just...couldn't. I probably would have insisted you go off anyway, you know? You don't even live that close to me and...and stuff."
They were silent for a moment before Mitsuki moved round to give her friend a comforting hug.
Emi raised her hand slightly. "Did you know who it was who beat the guy up? I mean, it would have been a bit weird to let a stranger walk you home, even if you did get saved by him..."
"He was...a guy from school." She admitted. She wasn't about to say it was Shimada. How bloody embarrassing would that be?
"Really?" Emi's eyes lit up with curiosity and wonder. "Was it Kizami?" She knew all about my crush. "Because that would be so romantic!" She clasped her hands together, a dreamy look on her face.
Mitsuki hit her lightly on the shoulder, rolling her eyes. "Don't worry about her. Still, at least it means you can do something for him in return. Lord knows how you hate looking weak and helpless."
Tohko nodded, giving a disgruntled grunt of agreement. "Plus I never properly thanked him...just told him to buzz off. Maybe I'll buy some doughnuts or something and give him some." She shrugged. She hated feeling like she was in debt to someone, so the sooner she could do something in return, the sooner she could act like things were normal. Then again, it was unlikely doughnuts would make things equal, but maybe they would make her rude manner afterwards a little less poignant. Besides, he was clearly in a bad mood. Perhaps a bit of chocolate would help him feel better.
Meanwhile, Kai couldn't deny he was in a bad mood. That morning he'd overslept, thanks to being out so long, and when he tried to explain himself to his fuming parents, they'd naturally refused to believe him. He'd even chosen to tell the truth and say he'd come across a girl from school being attacked and had stopped to help her. He was too tired to make up some stupid lie they'd find out with one simple phone call. After listening to them yelling while he tried to dress for school, he had to run to get the bus, and even though he had been as fast as he could, he was still late for his photo shoot with the magazine. Once again he got in trouble, and now he was just pissed. Finally, his day brought him to school, only to find he'd forgotten to pack a lunch, and his wallet and keys were missing, as well as the maths homework due in that afternoon. Great, he'd be locked out of his house until his parents got back and undoubtedly get shouted at again.
~*~*~*~*~*~
After school, Tohko and the girls stopped by a corner shop to buy the doughnuts. The shop was very close to the school and most students passed it on their way back, and she'd seen Kai hang back to talk to Ohkawa and Katayama, so it seemed to her that he would still pass by. She hoped he'd still be with the other two so it wouldn't be too obvious who she was gifting them to. After all, everyone knew how much she hated that annoying lout and there would be all sorts of ridiculous misunderstandings. People would probably start saying she had a thing for him or something.
Thankfully, when he did come into view, he was still talking with the other two. Heaving a sigh and swallowing her pride, Tohko approached the three of them. "Hey...any of you want a doughnut?" Met with the confused looks she decided to think up a good lie. "Leftovers from Mitsuki's birthday, nobody else wants them." She thrust the packet at the three boys again, trying not to catch Shimada's eye. After a moment, he walked on, taking the complete avoiding of him as a sign that he was exempt from the offer.
"Hey!" Tohko snapped as the other two each gladly took a doughnut. She turned away, going after the redhead. "I offer you something nice and you just flounce off like I've presented the greatest insult? It's not like it's a fermented soybean!" There was a strange silence and she realised she'd shouted at him. He was staring at her, almost as though...shocked. Perhaps he was surprised she knew it was his least favourite food (there was no taste he hated more than that of fermented soybeans). She felt her cheeks heat up as she realised there were people staring at the two and she decided to just get out of the situation there and then. She pushed the box into his hands. "Just take them! It's for last night, okay?" She was still shouting, and as she said the last part, he tried to bid her to be quiet. Her response was to run off before she could make matters worse. It was just all so embarrassing.
Kai stood there for the longest time, staring at the box and trying to get his head around what had just happened. Damn it, that girl was hot...and maybe she might be a little less unkind towards from that point on.
He shivered slightly, and blamed it on the cold. There was something in the air that made him feel a little...unsafe. Not that he had to worry. He was a tough guy, the kind who was hard to beat down, and most of the kids in school knew that. He gave an internal chuckle, feeling sorry for anyone who dared try anything with him. Even so, he sped up a little, deciding he wouldn't mind getting home a little bit quicker.
The rain started to get a little heavier and he raised the hood of his coat, tucking his hands into his armpits in a vain attempt to stave off the cold. Could have sworn it wasn't that cold a moment ago. Maybe it was the distant voice making a grip of ice form around his heart...a voice, weak and desperate, begging for someone else to stop whatever they were doing, calling for help. A second voice, this time a man, called for silence.
Kai, the young man who by this point just wanted to go home and huddle into his bed, rounded the corner cautiously, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. He heard the sound of skin on skin as the offending man supposedly hit the girl crying for help. Now, random acts of heroism were hardly Kai's thing. In fact, he'd much rather just carry on and pretend he never heard or saw anything, but the struggling girl turned her head away from her attacker and after a moment, caught his eye. There was no doubt he'd been seen, so just walking past and pretending nothing was happening or standing around watching would no doubt get him in deep water. This girl was one he recognised. They went to the same school, were in the same class. And god damn it, it was that one hot girl that he really liked but who really hated him. What damn luck.
Then again, as the attacking man lifted the schoolgirl's skirt (a short denim thing that already showed a lot of leg) with one hand and unzipped himself with the other, he had to admit he felt a tinge of annoyance at least, a bubbling anger at most. He didn't want to make it seem like he cared too much about this girl, especially since she hated his guts, and he was said to have a bad attitude when it came to women himself, but only a desperate creep would take advantage of another person like that. Kai was neither desperate nor a creep and he certainly didn't do rape. He'd gladly flirt and use his own charms to get off with a chick (and usually he was successful. Only the very best seemed able to resist Kai's advances) but if he was the kind to sink to such disgusting and dishonest means to get a bit of pleasure from a particularly hot girl, he would have dragged that particular girl to a dark corner against her will too many times to count by this point in time.
At first, he wasn't aware he was moving. Heck, he'd probably had all that thought while his legs surged onward. By the time he realised what he was doing he was almost there, with just enough time to raise his fist to strike the bastard pinning the girl he loved down.
Did he just refer to her as 'the girl he loved'?
Oh never mind, he had to focus here as the bastard staggered back. "What the fuck?" He started, glancing over and finding his eyes level with...Kai's jaw. Damn, this guy was short. At least he was compared to the redhead in front of him.
Still, if a guy that much taller than you came up and hit you in the face, you'd be intimidated, and that was something Kai loved about himself. That indomitable talent for making others quake in their shoes.
"Listen, freak, the girl said to stop, so I'd suggest you stop." He'd never felt so protective over someone before, and the words sure as hell didn't come naturally to him. It felt so awkward telling someone off for taking advantage of a scantily-dressed woman, even though most level-headed people would condemn it in a second. Not that most level-headed people would actually step in to save someone. Most people would actually ignore the screams and walk away, so really that made this...pretty damn heroic. Strange, Kai was probably the least heroic person he knew.
The 'freak', as he had labelled him, tried to make himself look taller and tougher. "Give me a break, man, look at her! She's asking for it!"
And once again, before he knew what was happening, he'd punched the man again and even raised his voice. "Get out of my sight, you little fuck, before I call the cops on your fat, greasy ass!"
The man stepped back then. "Yeah, you just want her to yourself, I know your game!"
Kai raised his fist again and the man hurried away. Next to this commotion, the girl was straightening her skirt and trying to get her breath back. After a moment, he turned to her, lowering his hand and his voice once more. "You okay?"
"Yeah, fine..." There was a long pause before she uttered a small thanks and went to leave. He quickly fell into step with her.
"You want me to walk you home?" He asked. It wasn't along his way, but he could still make sure she didn't run into the freak or anyone worse again.
She shook her head quickly, obviously thinking what the freak had said. "No thanks, I don't feel safe walking with a stranger."
"I'm not a stranger, Tohko." He lowered his hood and shook out his hair, giving her a smirk. Her worried face slowly formed a scowl.
"Oh. You."
"Yeah, me, and you might want to be a bit more polite. I just saved you."
"I could've gotten out of that myself just fine, Shimada."
"Yeah, sure, that's why you were practically screaming for help. What are you doing out so late dressed like that for anyway?"
"Mitsuki's birthday party." She walked on and he shrugged, following. "Why are you out so late?"
"Work overran." He lied. Okay, truth was he'd been on one of his little vandalism sprees, but that hardly mattered, did it?
She arched an eyebrow, obviously not believing him, but let it slide. No snark comments for tonight. They just walked along in silence. It was probably the nicest she'd been to him for a long time. She probably had no clue he lived in the other direction, and if she did, she made no comment about it. Maybe she was just grateful to have someone with her after that near-disaster. It wasn't an awkward silence by any means. At least, Kai was certainly comfortable. maybe he was just happy to be in her presence without her spitting nasty words at him.
All too soon, they reached the Kirisaki house, and Tohko bid him goodbye, escaping into her home as quickly as she could. Perhaps she no longer felt safe in the all-encompassing darkness of the streets. He hung around a moment or two, as though trying to regain his bearings, before turning back the way he'd come and making his way back home. For a moment he felt eyes on his back, as though Tohko were watching him from her bedroom window, but it was a very brief feeling and all too soon, her gaze had left him. He felt a slight smile grace his features. It felt strange to do something so good for a change. He just hoped it wouldn't get out and ruin his reputation.
~*~*~*~*~
Tohko had been tempted to stay out of school the next day, it had to be said. Even so, she was less inclined to tell her mother what had happened, and it was obvious she wasn't feeling sick, so she did her hair as usual and dressed quickly before heading to school, deciding to get there as quickly as she could.
It seemed like a painfully normal day. She spent her time with Emi and Mitsuki as per usual, talking about the usual things, with the odd interruption to speak about the party last night and how annoyed their parents where about their latecomings and dress sense. Tohko didn't say anything about what had happened after they'd all split off. She'd noticed after a moment that Kai wasn't in, but that wasn't in her head for long. He came in late every now and then anyway. He was a model for a magazine, so his work sometimes intersected his schooling, and he would probably turn up at lunchtime with his usual abrasive attitude. It would be unlikely that he would say anything about last night either.
When lunchtime finally arrived, Mitsuki heaved a sigh. "Okay, Tohko, you've been acting off all day. What's wrong?"
She looked up, confused. As far as she was concerned, she'd been acting the same as she always did.
"What do you mean?" She asked after a moment, doing her best to sound unimpressed. Even so, it came out squeaky.
"You're jumping whenever someone brushes against you, you keep zoning out, you're looking around all the time..."
Emi spoke next. "Did something happen?"
Tohko shook her head fervently. She jumped when she heard the door to the classroom open, looking to the door in a fright only to see Kai finally arriving, only to dump his bag, look through it, curse once or twice as he shoved things aside, then leave without the bag. There was a moment of silence before she decided to use the interruption to change the subject. "Someone got up on the wrong side of bed."
"Don't change the subject." Mitsuki scolded. "It's rude. Now come on, we're just worried about you, Tohko-san. What's wrong?"
To be honest, if she didn't tell anyone, she may have burst with all the stress left over. After an internal debate that seemed to take forever, she agreed to tell.
When she'd finally finished, she felt tears on her cheeks. Her friends looked absolutely horrified. "At least someone stopped him before it got too far." Emi managed.
"Yeah, it could have been worse...just...thank god you're okay, you know?"
"I'm super sorry I left you to go home alone..."
Tohko shook her head. "Hey, I was sure I could take anything. I just...couldn't. I probably would have insisted you go off anyway, you know? You don't even live that close to me and...and stuff."
They were silent for a moment before Mitsuki moved round to give her friend a comforting hug.
Emi raised her hand slightly. "Did you know who it was who beat the guy up? I mean, it would have been a bit weird to let a stranger walk you home, even if you did get saved by him..."
"He was...a guy from school." She admitted. She wasn't about to say it was Shimada. How bloody embarrassing would that be?
"Really?" Emi's eyes lit up with curiosity and wonder. "Was it Kizami?" She knew all about my crush. "Because that would be so romantic!" She clasped her hands together, a dreamy look on her face.
Mitsuki hit her lightly on the shoulder, rolling her eyes. "Don't worry about her. Still, at least it means you can do something for him in return. Lord knows how you hate looking weak and helpless."
Tohko nodded, giving a disgruntled grunt of agreement. "Plus I never properly thanked him...just told him to buzz off. Maybe I'll buy some doughnuts or something and give him some." She shrugged. She hated feeling like she was in debt to someone, so the sooner she could do something in return, the sooner she could act like things were normal. Then again, it was unlikely doughnuts would make things equal, but maybe they would make her rude manner afterwards a little less poignant. Besides, he was clearly in a bad mood. Perhaps a bit of chocolate would help him feel better.
Meanwhile, Kai couldn't deny he was in a bad mood. That morning he'd overslept, thanks to being out so long, and when he tried to explain himself to his fuming parents, they'd naturally refused to believe him. He'd even chosen to tell the truth and say he'd come across a girl from school being attacked and had stopped to help her. He was too tired to make up some stupid lie they'd find out with one simple phone call. After listening to them yelling while he tried to dress for school, he had to run to get the bus, and even though he had been as fast as he could, he was still late for his photo shoot with the magazine. Once again he got in trouble, and now he was just pissed. Finally, his day brought him to school, only to find he'd forgotten to pack a lunch, and his wallet and keys were missing, as well as the maths homework due in that afternoon. Great, he'd be locked out of his house until his parents got back and undoubtedly get shouted at again.
~*~*~*~*~*~
After school, Tohko and the girls stopped by a corner shop to buy the doughnuts. The shop was very close to the school and most students passed it on their way back, and she'd seen Kai hang back to talk to Ohkawa and Katayama, so it seemed to her that he would still pass by. She hoped he'd still be with the other two so it wouldn't be too obvious who she was gifting them to. After all, everyone knew how much she hated that annoying lout and there would be all sorts of ridiculous misunderstandings. People would probably start saying she had a thing for him or something.
Thankfully, when he did come into view, he was still talking with the other two. Heaving a sigh and swallowing her pride, Tohko approached the three of them. "Hey...any of you want a doughnut?" Met with the confused looks she decided to think up a good lie. "Leftovers from Mitsuki's birthday, nobody else wants them." She thrust the packet at the three boys again, trying not to catch Shimada's eye. After a moment, he walked on, taking the complete avoiding of him as a sign that he was exempt from the offer.
"Hey!" Tohko snapped as the other two each gladly took a doughnut. She turned away, going after the redhead. "I offer you something nice and you just flounce off like I've presented the greatest insult? It's not like it's a fermented soybean!" There was a strange silence and she realised she'd shouted at him. He was staring at her, almost as though...shocked. Perhaps he was surprised she knew it was his least favourite food (there was no taste he hated more than that of fermented soybeans). She felt her cheeks heat up as she realised there were people staring at the two and she decided to just get out of the situation there and then. She pushed the box into his hands. "Just take them! It's for last night, okay?" She was still shouting, and as she said the last part, he tried to bid her to be quiet. Her response was to run off before she could make matters worse. It was just all so embarrassing.
Kai stood there for the longest time, staring at the box and trying to get his head around what had just happened. Damn it, that girl was hot...and maybe she might be a little less unkind towards from that point on.
Thursday, 18 June 2015
Harmonious Prince
It looked like a long journey would be ahead of us. I'd forgotten just how far I'd traveled in what would be roughly nine months. Very far, and it would be a painfully long journey back for a teenager whose legs were a complete mess. It was just the pain. The pain and the drugs, everything seemed like a mess. I couldn't stop shaking, I'm not sure if it was the shock in my body or that I was cold. I had a baby clutched to my chest, but I wasn't that old myself. I don't know how old Tobi was, but I think in most places our relationship would be seen as illegal. Good thing we were already criminals.
I kept finding my eyes drawn to my baby girl. We'd bundled her into some blankets and we didn't have much else in terms of things to use in terms of care, but it would be okay. At least, that's what I told myself as I staggered along the dirt path, barefoot. I could barely feel the stones digging into my feet. I was tired, but I'd been tired for a week or so now. I could feel myself falling asleep on my feet, but every now and then I'd be jolted awake. Either the sensation of the baby nuzzling into my chest, getting used to her father (maybe searching for a breast to suckle, but I sure hoped not), tripping over and being caught by Tobi or my body's needs spiking into painful levels. It really seemed like we were walking forever.
I'd not even noticed when Tobi agreed to stop for a rest. I'd just kept walking, drug-addled mind leading me along like a clueless puppy. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me.
"Deidara." His voice seemed somehow deeper, less irritating...or maybe I was really going crazy. He guided me to a rocky outcrop and bid me to sit. "Deidara-senpai, you seem sick!" Ah, his voice was back to normal. Much better.
Is it strange? I'd entered into a relationship with this man, had sex with him, had a child with him, but all I'd ever seen of his face was his lips and one dark eye. I knew he had scars, and I guess I'd never thought much of it. I had issues with myself at times as well, but Tobi surely knew I didn't care how he looked now? I loved him for being Tobi. As annoying as he was, as much as he grated on my nerves, I really did love him.
I realised then that I hadn't responded. I gave a slight nod and a smile, although I hated looking weak there and then. "It's just the damn sedatives those bastards put me on, un. They didn't want me causing trouble."
The baby started to fret, whimpering and squeaking. I bounced her awkwardly on my knee, but it seemed to agitate her. Tobi held his arms out for her then.
"Senpai, can I hold my baby?"
I felt a shiver run through me. Tobi's baby...our baby...
At least he had accepted it now. At first he was so completely in denial about it I wanted to beat him half to death. Slowly, I passed the baby over, and he held her close to his own chest, rearranging his grip several times as he tried to work out what he was doing. It was actually quite endearing and I couldn't help but smile. The baby kept squirming and whining, even in Tobi's arms.
"Maybe she's hungry, un." I thought aloud. "What do we do?"
Tobi shrugged, stroking back the little fluff of black hair. "There's a village a few miles south." He mused softly. "We could get her something there."
"You think she'll last long enough, un?"
"She'll be fine, we'll be there in no time at all." He glanced to the baby and then back at me. "How are you holding up, senpai?"
I gave another slight nod. "I'm fine."
There was a brief silence. The dizziness had faded, and though my legs were still weak, I felt I could make it to the next village over no bother.
The thought that Kakuzu would be so pissed off crossed my mind. I'd lost my clothes, and babies were expensive. I probably wouldn't be able to work until I'd fully recovered as well. I let a chuckle escape me at this thought. Perhaps that was what Tobi found so interesting in bugging the other members of the Akatsuki. Sometimes the reactions people gave were funny, I had to admit. Was that part of what he liked about me? The way I reacted to him? Well, there was a lot I liked about him, it had to be said. I liked how deeply he cared, how he hid behind that mask as though shy (and believe me, I was already starting to see exactly how much of him was a facade already), his hair, the calouses in his skin, showing years of wear and tear as he toiled within our imperfect world of war and unrest...we were strong. That was us, and it showed. It showed how much he had suffered and how strong he truly was in every single slight action he made. Almost as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. It both pained me to see it, and made me somewhat relieved. As though it was proof we were meant to stick together through the dangers in this stupid world. I guess it just plain sucked that I was paired with Sasori-no-danna for the time being.
"Senpai?"
I looked up, the nasally voice jolting me out of my thoughts. "Hmm?"
"Does the baby have a name?"
I stared for a moment as though he had just asked the dumbest question in the history of dumb questions. "I've only had her for a day, Tobi, un."
"Well, she needs a name, senpai. How about Yoshiko? Then Yoshiko can be a good girl, just like Tobi!"
"No." I said at once. "That reason is stupid, un."
"Chiyoko?"
"Nothing ending in 'ko'. She won't be a child forever, un."
Tobi gave a hum of thought. "I guess you're right, Senpai. How about a flower name? Flower names are always nice! Like Sakura, Sakura is a beautiful name!"
"I don't like it."
"She has beautiful eyes, like Senpai! How about Hitomi!"
"I'm not naming my daughter after an eye."
"Aw." Tobi seemed especially disappointed about that one, but I didn't care.
"Come up with a good name, un."
"Natsu? It means 'summer'!"
Well, I liked that one a little more, so I gave an uncertain hum. This would be something that would stick with my daughter her whole life, after all.
"Shizuka? It doesn't end in 'ko', and it means 'a quiet one, born in summer'. I think it suits her, don't you, Senpai?"
I glanced down at her. For some reason, the name Shizuka had always seemed like a...I don't know how, but I guess a dark name. As in, a name that suits girls with dark hair, dark clothes, a shy personality, pale skin...that sort of girl. She certainly had the dark hair and pale skin.
"Shizuka Natsu Yoshiko?" I asked, looking up.
"Yay!" Tobi threw one arm up, the other tightening his hold on Shizuka. She cried a little louder and the idiot looked back down to her. "Senpai, she smells bad. You can have her back now."
We traveled for over a month, this child between us, growing up between us. Our Shizuka. Tobi was practically dancing at first, but after a few nights of being kept awake, he was a bit more irritable. I, on the other hand, was recovering brilliantly. By the end of the first week, I could walk properly again and speak and think clearly. By the end of the month, I was completely back to my old self. It was sort of amusing. Apart from when he got snappy with me and told me to hurry up. I didn't know at the time, but I held in my arms an heir to the Uchiha clan. In fact, I would be the only person to produce a male heir to the Uchiha clan later in life. I felt absolutely betrayed when I found out Tobi was one of the Uchiha.
I was 18. I'd somehow become pregnant again (apparently it's due to a form of chakra poisoning or something, and god was it painful), and baby number 2 was growing fast. It seemed active. Like it would be the kind to run around everywhere, never shutting up, very cheerful. We'd already agreed on a name. Sachi for a girl, Katsuhiko for a boy. Anyway, I must have taken him by surprise. He'd had the sharingan activated. I honestly don't remember much about the hissy fit I threw. I'd screamed, and now I'd probably blame it on hormones or something. He'd left me alone in the end, after many threats and attempts to fight him, to which he gently kept me at bay considering my condition. I'd had a long time to calm down, and then I heaved myself to my feet, deciding to talk to him. I guess I had to talk things over eventually, after all.
I found him playing with Shizuka in her room. I knocked on the door, already feeling a strange sense of anger and annoyance sinking back into me.
He glanced up briefly, but kept his attention primarily on our daughter. "Yes, Senpai?"
I rolled my eyes. Already he was making me pissed off beyond belief. "Could you put that down for a minute? I want to talk, un."
"Is this about my eye, Senpai?"
I heaved a sigh. This was going to be so taxing for me. "Just...follow me, okay, un?"
Tobi obediently got up, lifting Shizuka as he did so. I led him through the base, trying to think of how to say things. At some point, he unceremoniously dumped the little girl on 'uncle' Itachi. I wasn't paying total attention, I was very busy. I had a lot running through my head, you see.
I led him outside, found myself fiddling with the stem of a nearby morning glory. "Look, about earlier-"
"Tobi's sorry, Senpai!"
I turned in shock. "Tobi's sorry? You didn't do anything wrong, un."
"Tobi should have told his Senpai everything when this relationship started."
Sighing, I turned back to the flowers, starting to pick them from their place. "Everyone has secrets."
"But we're a couple, we shouldn't have secrets!"
"Well, no, but..." I gave a soft sigh. "I forgive you, un." I turned, offering the flowers.
When he went to take them, I dropped them, crying out as pain washed over me. It looked like the baby was coming there and then.
Our Katsuhiko would be born. Our harmonious prince.
It was just a shame I wouldn't get to see him grow up...
I kept finding my eyes drawn to my baby girl. We'd bundled her into some blankets and we didn't have much else in terms of things to use in terms of care, but it would be okay. At least, that's what I told myself as I staggered along the dirt path, barefoot. I could barely feel the stones digging into my feet. I was tired, but I'd been tired for a week or so now. I could feel myself falling asleep on my feet, but every now and then I'd be jolted awake. Either the sensation of the baby nuzzling into my chest, getting used to her father (maybe searching for a breast to suckle, but I sure hoped not), tripping over and being caught by Tobi or my body's needs spiking into painful levels. It really seemed like we were walking forever.
I'd not even noticed when Tobi agreed to stop for a rest. I'd just kept walking, drug-addled mind leading me along like a clueless puppy. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me.
"Deidara." His voice seemed somehow deeper, less irritating...or maybe I was really going crazy. He guided me to a rocky outcrop and bid me to sit. "Deidara-senpai, you seem sick!" Ah, his voice was back to normal. Much better.
Is it strange? I'd entered into a relationship with this man, had sex with him, had a child with him, but all I'd ever seen of his face was his lips and one dark eye. I knew he had scars, and I guess I'd never thought much of it. I had issues with myself at times as well, but Tobi surely knew I didn't care how he looked now? I loved him for being Tobi. As annoying as he was, as much as he grated on my nerves, I really did love him.
I realised then that I hadn't responded. I gave a slight nod and a smile, although I hated looking weak there and then. "It's just the damn sedatives those bastards put me on, un. They didn't want me causing trouble."
The baby started to fret, whimpering and squeaking. I bounced her awkwardly on my knee, but it seemed to agitate her. Tobi held his arms out for her then.
"Senpai, can I hold my baby?"
I felt a shiver run through me. Tobi's baby...our baby...
At least he had accepted it now. At first he was so completely in denial about it I wanted to beat him half to death. Slowly, I passed the baby over, and he held her close to his own chest, rearranging his grip several times as he tried to work out what he was doing. It was actually quite endearing and I couldn't help but smile. The baby kept squirming and whining, even in Tobi's arms.
"Maybe she's hungry, un." I thought aloud. "What do we do?"
Tobi shrugged, stroking back the little fluff of black hair. "There's a village a few miles south." He mused softly. "We could get her something there."
"You think she'll last long enough, un?"
"She'll be fine, we'll be there in no time at all." He glanced to the baby and then back at me. "How are you holding up, senpai?"
I gave another slight nod. "I'm fine."
There was a brief silence. The dizziness had faded, and though my legs were still weak, I felt I could make it to the next village over no bother.
The thought that Kakuzu would be so pissed off crossed my mind. I'd lost my clothes, and babies were expensive. I probably wouldn't be able to work until I'd fully recovered as well. I let a chuckle escape me at this thought. Perhaps that was what Tobi found so interesting in bugging the other members of the Akatsuki. Sometimes the reactions people gave were funny, I had to admit. Was that part of what he liked about me? The way I reacted to him? Well, there was a lot I liked about him, it had to be said. I liked how deeply he cared, how he hid behind that mask as though shy (and believe me, I was already starting to see exactly how much of him was a facade already), his hair, the calouses in his skin, showing years of wear and tear as he toiled within our imperfect world of war and unrest...we were strong. That was us, and it showed. It showed how much he had suffered and how strong he truly was in every single slight action he made. Almost as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. It both pained me to see it, and made me somewhat relieved. As though it was proof we were meant to stick together through the dangers in this stupid world. I guess it just plain sucked that I was paired with Sasori-no-danna for the time being.
"Senpai?"
I looked up, the nasally voice jolting me out of my thoughts. "Hmm?"
"Does the baby have a name?"
I stared for a moment as though he had just asked the dumbest question in the history of dumb questions. "I've only had her for a day, Tobi, un."
"Well, she needs a name, senpai. How about Yoshiko? Then Yoshiko can be a good girl, just like Tobi!"
"No." I said at once. "That reason is stupid, un."
"Chiyoko?"
"Nothing ending in 'ko'. She won't be a child forever, un."
Tobi gave a hum of thought. "I guess you're right, Senpai. How about a flower name? Flower names are always nice! Like Sakura, Sakura is a beautiful name!"
"I don't like it."
"She has beautiful eyes, like Senpai! How about Hitomi!"
"I'm not naming my daughter after an eye."
"Aw." Tobi seemed especially disappointed about that one, but I didn't care.
"Come up with a good name, un."
"Natsu? It means 'summer'!"
Well, I liked that one a little more, so I gave an uncertain hum. This would be something that would stick with my daughter her whole life, after all.
"Shizuka? It doesn't end in 'ko', and it means 'a quiet one, born in summer'. I think it suits her, don't you, Senpai?"
I glanced down at her. For some reason, the name Shizuka had always seemed like a...I don't know how, but I guess a dark name. As in, a name that suits girls with dark hair, dark clothes, a shy personality, pale skin...that sort of girl. She certainly had the dark hair and pale skin.
"Shizuka Natsu Yoshiko?" I asked, looking up.
"Yay!" Tobi threw one arm up, the other tightening his hold on Shizuka. She cried a little louder and the idiot looked back down to her. "Senpai, she smells bad. You can have her back now."
We traveled for over a month, this child between us, growing up between us. Our Shizuka. Tobi was practically dancing at first, but after a few nights of being kept awake, he was a bit more irritable. I, on the other hand, was recovering brilliantly. By the end of the first week, I could walk properly again and speak and think clearly. By the end of the month, I was completely back to my old self. It was sort of amusing. Apart from when he got snappy with me and told me to hurry up. I didn't know at the time, but I held in my arms an heir to the Uchiha clan. In fact, I would be the only person to produce a male heir to the Uchiha clan later in life. I felt absolutely betrayed when I found out Tobi was one of the Uchiha.
I was 18. I'd somehow become pregnant again (apparently it's due to a form of chakra poisoning or something, and god was it painful), and baby number 2 was growing fast. It seemed active. Like it would be the kind to run around everywhere, never shutting up, very cheerful. We'd already agreed on a name. Sachi for a girl, Katsuhiko for a boy. Anyway, I must have taken him by surprise. He'd had the sharingan activated. I honestly don't remember much about the hissy fit I threw. I'd screamed, and now I'd probably blame it on hormones or something. He'd left me alone in the end, after many threats and attempts to fight him, to which he gently kept me at bay considering my condition. I'd had a long time to calm down, and then I heaved myself to my feet, deciding to talk to him. I guess I had to talk things over eventually, after all.
I found him playing with Shizuka in her room. I knocked on the door, already feeling a strange sense of anger and annoyance sinking back into me.
He glanced up briefly, but kept his attention primarily on our daughter. "Yes, Senpai?"
I rolled my eyes. Already he was making me pissed off beyond belief. "Could you put that down for a minute? I want to talk, un."
"Is this about my eye, Senpai?"
I heaved a sigh. This was going to be so taxing for me. "Just...follow me, okay, un?"
Tobi obediently got up, lifting Shizuka as he did so. I led him through the base, trying to think of how to say things. At some point, he unceremoniously dumped the little girl on 'uncle' Itachi. I wasn't paying total attention, I was very busy. I had a lot running through my head, you see.
I led him outside, found myself fiddling with the stem of a nearby morning glory. "Look, about earlier-"
"Tobi's sorry, Senpai!"
I turned in shock. "Tobi's sorry? You didn't do anything wrong, un."
"Tobi should have told his Senpai everything when this relationship started."
Sighing, I turned back to the flowers, starting to pick them from their place. "Everyone has secrets."
"But we're a couple, we shouldn't have secrets!"
"Well, no, but..." I gave a soft sigh. "I forgive you, un." I turned, offering the flowers.
When he went to take them, I dropped them, crying out as pain washed over me. It looked like the baby was coming there and then.
Our Katsuhiko would be born. Our harmonious prince.
It was just a shame I wouldn't get to see him grow up...
Thursday, 11 June 2015
The Caring Partner
The honeymoon had been planned months in advance. Heck, the entire wedding had involved such meticulous planning and Gaara had been trying to ensure nothing went wrong. He'd thankfully had help with that regard in the form of his former mentor, Baki, and elder brother, Kankurou. It had been an unusually large affair for two people so quiet, but they wanted to share this joyful event with their friends and family. A lot of people had gotten drunk that night, and there had been a lot of dancing, albeit somewhat awkward in certain cases. What could he say? Gaara had never tried dancing before.
The honeymoon itself took place in a beautiful place, abundant with life and water, far different to the sand and heat they were used to. The night seemed peaceful, and there were all sorts of things to do. Matsuri had never been one for the type of holiday where one simply slept and bathed the day away. She'd always preferred active holidays, where she could go to attractions, learn new things and be kept busy.
Sadly, she wouldn't be able to enjoy the honeymoon as much as she'd wanted. When Gaara awoke that first morning, his ears tuned into an unusual sound. Like a mix between pained yelp and throaty cough, followed by a splash of liquid hitting liquid. Sitting up groggily, he turned to see Matsuri had long since vacated the bed. She was probably in the bathroom, that was where the noise was coming from, and...was she being sick?
Cautiously, Gaara slipped out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, only to find the door locked up tight. He knocked gently with just one knuckle. "Matsuri? Are you okay in there?"
Silence greeted him, before the sound of another retch, causing the young Kazekage to wince. Finally, a weak, hoarse voice called out to him.
"I'm fine..."
"Are you sure? You sound very unwell."
"I'll be fine." The lock clicked as Matsuri drew the bolt across and stepped out, a forced smile plastered across her pale face. She just wanted to enjoy this damn holiday, but one night in and she was puking her guts up. No matter. She might still be able to make it to the nearby museum she wanted to go to.
"Perhaps you should have a lie down. I'll get you some water."
She shook her head, causing the room to spin. "I'm fine, Gaara-kun. I want to go out."
"I can't allow that while you're unwell. You need rest."
She opened her mouth to argue again, but all that she managed to get out was another round of vomit. Gaara swiftly moved back to avoid getting hit and she began to apologise profusely. Once over the initial shock, the young Kazekage gently took her arm and led her back to the bed. "Just rest, Matsuri. You really aren't well."
This time she simply nodded and curled up over the covers. At least it could be worse, she thought, remembering the last time she had contracted the flu. She didn't have any fever or anything, just the nausea. And tiredness. She always felt tired when she was ill, so that was no big surprise. She probably would have fallen asleep there and then if it hadn't been for the promise of water.
Not much later, he was still on the bed beside her, gently stroking her hair as she took small sips of the water. A glance had her catching the deep-set concern in his eyes and she gave a soft sigh. This was, without a doubt, one of the most embarrassing moments in their entire relationship for her. Sadly, it would not get much better.
Her gaze drifted, resting on the gorgeous view they had from their window as she felt Gaara's hand move to her back, rubbing in calming circles. She had to admit, she was very thankful for that comfort, and he was happy just to spend his time in her company, helping her feel better.
By the time her glass of water was about half-full, she felt the nausea returning with a vengeance. Once more, she was up like a shot, sprinting for the bathroom and unleashing what little she had. So much for soothing her throat and quenching her thirst.
This time, Gaara knelt beside her, holding back her hair and once again rubbing her back. He offered calming words, but she barely heard them. With the new wave of sickness came another dizzy spell, even though she was on the floor already, and the beginnings of one nasty migraine. Whimpering slightly, she clung to her new husband, just wishing she could sleep and forget any of this ever happened. She didn't care about her holiday any more. Her body was tired and painful.
Watching his wife be reduced to such miserable whimpering struck Gaara's heart. Slowly, he lifted her, bridal style, and carried her back to the bed, laying down with her curled against his chest. If she was suffering this much, the strong kunoichi he knew, the capable girl who could face almost anything placed before her, then there must have been something very wrong. He needed to call a doctor, he decided as he planted a kiss on her forehead, gently whispering words of comfort as he ran his hands through her hair. For now, he let her cuddle up to him until she fell into a fitful sleep. Then, he gently eased her off him, resting her on the bed and tucking her in once more, as gentle as he could be. He tried to think of the things people normally did when someone was sick. He had been there the last time Temari had dealt with a sickly Kankurou. Awkwardly, he put his hand to her forehead, expecting heat. At least, more heat than he normally felt when he held her. She didn't appear to have a fever. Even so, he wet a cloth to place over her forehead, and got her another glass of water. She was still in her night clothes, so there was no bother there. He briefly considered calling for a bowl of soup, but decided to wait for her to awaken first. Until then, he lay down beside her, watching her every move to see if she needed anything.
A couple of hours later, he decided she wouldn't be waking up soon. Frowning, he sat up straight and tried to wake her, shaking her arm. She turned away lethargically with a groan, but made no other move. "Matsuri?"
She gave a slight hum of acknowledgement. Once again, she sounded hoarse and weak.
"Would you like something to drink?" He asked, concern creeping into his voice.
Another hum, this time sounding off an affirmative. With a slight nod, Gaara reached over, helping Matsuri sit up and then holding the glass to her mouth so she could drink.
"I can hold it myself, you know." She muttered, scowling.
"You're still half-asleep." He pointed out, cuddling her close as she downed the water.
"I guess. I love you." She mumbled, draping her arms around him and cuddling up once more. He offered a soft smile.
"I love you too. Are you hungry?"
She opened her eyes again and gave a slight nod. "Why? Are we going to have lunch now?"
"I could arrange something, yes."
"That would be lovely, thank you."
Gaara gave a brief nod before reaching for the phone beside the bed. As he picked up the receiver, Matsuri once again threw up all the water she had drank. She uttered a soft apology and looked away, embarrassed.
"It's fine, don't worry." His only worry at that point was that she was on a fast track to dehydration. Drinking just...wasn't helping. "I'll call you a doctor."
She had half a mind to object, but opening her mouth to do so earned her a glare, and really, she did feel pretty bad, so it wouldn't be too harmful to say the least. Instead, she just heaved a sigh and rested her head on his lap. A slight smile graced his usually stoic features and he once again ran his fingers through her hair. After he finished his call, he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her in closer. Even though she was unwell, she still smelled the same as always. Magnolia and raspberries, albeit with a sour undertone that almost made him wrinkle his nose. Almost. Right now, he just watched her in concern, wishing he could do something to help her. For now all he could do was hold her and offer his comfort.
When the doctor arrived, Gaara had his forehead resting against Matsuri's, as she fell asleep once more. He quickly explained the problem, how his wife threw up every time she took a drink.
Medicine could be given for the nausea, but the doctor wanted to figure out the reason for all this sickness. They were taken to a hospital, and she was attached to an IV. Gaara sat beside her as the tests were performed, holding her hand tightly. Now conscious and alert, as well as embarrassed, Matsuri gripped his hand just as hard, terrified something was seriously wrong. Every glance to her husband helped lift her spirits. He would offer a comforting smile, his silent promise that no matter what, he would be there at every turn to help make things okay.
After a long moment, the doctor returned with several notes in hand. "Matsuri-san, you said you started throwing up a couple of days ago but it didn't get this bad until this morning?"
She gave a slight nod. That had been something she had kept secret from Gaara simply because she too wanted nothing to ruin their wedding. She certainly wasn't about to let herself ruin it all.
"And you've been feeling more tired than usual..."
She gave a slight nod. Gaara stared at the doctor, silently urging him to get to the point.
"Well...our tests suggest the cause is hyperemesis gravidarum."
"What does that mean?" Matsuri asked, looking confused.
"A rather serious case of, um, morning sickness. Although we would like to double check the cause of your sickness is pregnancy and not something else."
She nodded before she'd really taken what he'd said in, but by her side, Gaara had gone slack, eyes wide. The doctor began to set up and his brow furrowed.
"We've only just gotten married."
"Hey, you were the one who wanted to be active so soon."
He tried to ignore that, but could still feel heat rushing to his cheeks. "My apologies...but...we're having a child..." His eyes were drawn to her belly and Matsuri let her head fall back with a groan.
"And this stupid condition will only get a million times worse. At least I shouldn't throw up constantly for nine damn months..."
"You were pregnant during the wedding...you didn't drink, did you?"
"Not much..." She answered defensively. "Besides, I had no idea."
"You shouldn't have been drinking if you were feeling ill." He pointed out, trying hard not to smirk. She gave him a playful hit.
"Stop that, mister! I'm not a saint, you know."
"I think I know that all too well. I am your husband, after all."
She couldn't help but laugh at that. "And I'm your wife."
After that day, Matsuri decided she didn't like having ultrasound scans. For some reason just seeing the thing put her in a bad mood. She had no idea why, but the strange jellybean-prawn-alien thing that appeared on the screen put her in a bad mood. Maybe she was worried. Maybe she was annoyed that something that small had put her in hospital despite her strength and training. Perhaps it was that Gaara had been silent the entire time she'd been having the scan, just staring at the screen with a slightly open mouth, gripping her hand so tight it had started to hurt. Now she was curled up in his arms, snuggled up to his chest. Yeah, that was another thing putting her in a rotten mood. She was still damn tired.
"Gaara?"
"Mmm?"
Matsuri looked up, biting her lip. "What are you thinking?"
He was silent for a long time, looking to the ceiling as he gathered his thoughts. "I hope it's a girl. Then she can be just as beautiful as her mother. And strong as both of us combined."
She smiled at that. "Sounds like you're excited about becoming a father."
"...Do...do you think I'd be any good as a parent?" He asked uncertainly, looking a little anxious.
"You'll be a wonderful father. Caring, protective, wise...you're perfect."
He gave a slight nod. "It looked strange."
"Like a bean."
"Yes. That turns into an infant?"
"Eventually." She let out a yawn and buried her face in her husband's shirt. "You make a really good pillow."
"You've said." He stroked her hair again, placing a kiss on her forehead. "You rest. I will make sure you're undisturbed."
"You're the best."
"I love you so much." As she drifted off to sleep, he rested a hand on her stomach, thoughts drifting to the year before, meeting his nephew. He couldn't deny it, though the idea of being a parent hadn't fully sunk in yet, there was something...exhilarating about this whole ordeal. Nerve-wracking, yet exciting. Certainly not something he thought he would be getting into so soon. He would have to ask for some advice later on. That sounded good, it had been a while since he had had some brother/sister time with Temari...
The honeymoon itself took place in a beautiful place, abundant with life and water, far different to the sand and heat they were used to. The night seemed peaceful, and there were all sorts of things to do. Matsuri had never been one for the type of holiday where one simply slept and bathed the day away. She'd always preferred active holidays, where she could go to attractions, learn new things and be kept busy.
Sadly, she wouldn't be able to enjoy the honeymoon as much as she'd wanted. When Gaara awoke that first morning, his ears tuned into an unusual sound. Like a mix between pained yelp and throaty cough, followed by a splash of liquid hitting liquid. Sitting up groggily, he turned to see Matsuri had long since vacated the bed. She was probably in the bathroom, that was where the noise was coming from, and...was she being sick?
Cautiously, Gaara slipped out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, only to find the door locked up tight. He knocked gently with just one knuckle. "Matsuri? Are you okay in there?"
Silence greeted him, before the sound of another retch, causing the young Kazekage to wince. Finally, a weak, hoarse voice called out to him.
"I'm fine..."
"Are you sure? You sound very unwell."
"I'll be fine." The lock clicked as Matsuri drew the bolt across and stepped out, a forced smile plastered across her pale face. She just wanted to enjoy this damn holiday, but one night in and she was puking her guts up. No matter. She might still be able to make it to the nearby museum she wanted to go to.
"Perhaps you should have a lie down. I'll get you some water."
She shook her head, causing the room to spin. "I'm fine, Gaara-kun. I want to go out."
"I can't allow that while you're unwell. You need rest."
She opened her mouth to argue again, but all that she managed to get out was another round of vomit. Gaara swiftly moved back to avoid getting hit and she began to apologise profusely. Once over the initial shock, the young Kazekage gently took her arm and led her back to the bed. "Just rest, Matsuri. You really aren't well."
This time she simply nodded and curled up over the covers. At least it could be worse, she thought, remembering the last time she had contracted the flu. She didn't have any fever or anything, just the nausea. And tiredness. She always felt tired when she was ill, so that was no big surprise. She probably would have fallen asleep there and then if it hadn't been for the promise of water.
Not much later, he was still on the bed beside her, gently stroking her hair as she took small sips of the water. A glance had her catching the deep-set concern in his eyes and she gave a soft sigh. This was, without a doubt, one of the most embarrassing moments in their entire relationship for her. Sadly, it would not get much better.
Her gaze drifted, resting on the gorgeous view they had from their window as she felt Gaara's hand move to her back, rubbing in calming circles. She had to admit, she was very thankful for that comfort, and he was happy just to spend his time in her company, helping her feel better.
By the time her glass of water was about half-full, she felt the nausea returning with a vengeance. Once more, she was up like a shot, sprinting for the bathroom and unleashing what little she had. So much for soothing her throat and quenching her thirst.
This time, Gaara knelt beside her, holding back her hair and once again rubbing her back. He offered calming words, but she barely heard them. With the new wave of sickness came another dizzy spell, even though she was on the floor already, and the beginnings of one nasty migraine. Whimpering slightly, she clung to her new husband, just wishing she could sleep and forget any of this ever happened. She didn't care about her holiday any more. Her body was tired and painful.
Watching his wife be reduced to such miserable whimpering struck Gaara's heart. Slowly, he lifted her, bridal style, and carried her back to the bed, laying down with her curled against his chest. If she was suffering this much, the strong kunoichi he knew, the capable girl who could face almost anything placed before her, then there must have been something very wrong. He needed to call a doctor, he decided as he planted a kiss on her forehead, gently whispering words of comfort as he ran his hands through her hair. For now, he let her cuddle up to him until she fell into a fitful sleep. Then, he gently eased her off him, resting her on the bed and tucking her in once more, as gentle as he could be. He tried to think of the things people normally did when someone was sick. He had been there the last time Temari had dealt with a sickly Kankurou. Awkwardly, he put his hand to her forehead, expecting heat. At least, more heat than he normally felt when he held her. She didn't appear to have a fever. Even so, he wet a cloth to place over her forehead, and got her another glass of water. She was still in her night clothes, so there was no bother there. He briefly considered calling for a bowl of soup, but decided to wait for her to awaken first. Until then, he lay down beside her, watching her every move to see if she needed anything.
A couple of hours later, he decided she wouldn't be waking up soon. Frowning, he sat up straight and tried to wake her, shaking her arm. She turned away lethargically with a groan, but made no other move. "Matsuri?"
She gave a slight hum of acknowledgement. Once again, she sounded hoarse and weak.
"Would you like something to drink?" He asked, concern creeping into his voice.
Another hum, this time sounding off an affirmative. With a slight nod, Gaara reached over, helping Matsuri sit up and then holding the glass to her mouth so she could drink.
"I can hold it myself, you know." She muttered, scowling.
"You're still half-asleep." He pointed out, cuddling her close as she downed the water.
"I guess. I love you." She mumbled, draping her arms around him and cuddling up once more. He offered a soft smile.
"I love you too. Are you hungry?"
She opened her eyes again and gave a slight nod. "Why? Are we going to have lunch now?"
"I could arrange something, yes."
"That would be lovely, thank you."
Gaara gave a brief nod before reaching for the phone beside the bed. As he picked up the receiver, Matsuri once again threw up all the water she had drank. She uttered a soft apology and looked away, embarrassed.
"It's fine, don't worry." His only worry at that point was that she was on a fast track to dehydration. Drinking just...wasn't helping. "I'll call you a doctor."
She had half a mind to object, but opening her mouth to do so earned her a glare, and really, she did feel pretty bad, so it wouldn't be too harmful to say the least. Instead, she just heaved a sigh and rested her head on his lap. A slight smile graced his usually stoic features and he once again ran his fingers through her hair. After he finished his call, he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her in closer. Even though she was unwell, she still smelled the same as always. Magnolia and raspberries, albeit with a sour undertone that almost made him wrinkle his nose. Almost. Right now, he just watched her in concern, wishing he could do something to help her. For now all he could do was hold her and offer his comfort.
When the doctor arrived, Gaara had his forehead resting against Matsuri's, as she fell asleep once more. He quickly explained the problem, how his wife threw up every time she took a drink.
Medicine could be given for the nausea, but the doctor wanted to figure out the reason for all this sickness. They were taken to a hospital, and she was attached to an IV. Gaara sat beside her as the tests were performed, holding her hand tightly. Now conscious and alert, as well as embarrassed, Matsuri gripped his hand just as hard, terrified something was seriously wrong. Every glance to her husband helped lift her spirits. He would offer a comforting smile, his silent promise that no matter what, he would be there at every turn to help make things okay.
After a long moment, the doctor returned with several notes in hand. "Matsuri-san, you said you started throwing up a couple of days ago but it didn't get this bad until this morning?"
She gave a slight nod. That had been something she had kept secret from Gaara simply because she too wanted nothing to ruin their wedding. She certainly wasn't about to let herself ruin it all.
"And you've been feeling more tired than usual..."
She gave a slight nod. Gaara stared at the doctor, silently urging him to get to the point.
"Well...our tests suggest the cause is hyperemesis gravidarum."
"What does that mean?" Matsuri asked, looking confused.
"A rather serious case of, um, morning sickness. Although we would like to double check the cause of your sickness is pregnancy and not something else."
She nodded before she'd really taken what he'd said in, but by her side, Gaara had gone slack, eyes wide. The doctor began to set up and his brow furrowed.
"We've only just gotten married."
"Hey, you were the one who wanted to be active so soon."
He tried to ignore that, but could still feel heat rushing to his cheeks. "My apologies...but...we're having a child..." His eyes were drawn to her belly and Matsuri let her head fall back with a groan.
"And this stupid condition will only get a million times worse. At least I shouldn't throw up constantly for nine damn months..."
"You were pregnant during the wedding...you didn't drink, did you?"
"Not much..." She answered defensively. "Besides, I had no idea."
"You shouldn't have been drinking if you were feeling ill." He pointed out, trying hard not to smirk. She gave him a playful hit.
"Stop that, mister! I'm not a saint, you know."
"I think I know that all too well. I am your husband, after all."
She couldn't help but laugh at that. "And I'm your wife."
After that day, Matsuri decided she didn't like having ultrasound scans. For some reason just seeing the thing put her in a bad mood. She had no idea why, but the strange jellybean-prawn-alien thing that appeared on the screen put her in a bad mood. Maybe she was worried. Maybe she was annoyed that something that small had put her in hospital despite her strength and training. Perhaps it was that Gaara had been silent the entire time she'd been having the scan, just staring at the screen with a slightly open mouth, gripping her hand so tight it had started to hurt. Now she was curled up in his arms, snuggled up to his chest. Yeah, that was another thing putting her in a rotten mood. She was still damn tired.
"Gaara?"
"Mmm?"
Matsuri looked up, biting her lip. "What are you thinking?"
He was silent for a long time, looking to the ceiling as he gathered his thoughts. "I hope it's a girl. Then she can be just as beautiful as her mother. And strong as both of us combined."
She smiled at that. "Sounds like you're excited about becoming a father."
"...Do...do you think I'd be any good as a parent?" He asked uncertainly, looking a little anxious.
"You'll be a wonderful father. Caring, protective, wise...you're perfect."
He gave a slight nod. "It looked strange."
"Like a bean."
"Yes. That turns into an infant?"
"Eventually." She let out a yawn and buried her face in her husband's shirt. "You make a really good pillow."
"You've said." He stroked her hair again, placing a kiss on her forehead. "You rest. I will make sure you're undisturbed."
"You're the best."
"I love you so much." As she drifted off to sleep, he rested a hand on her stomach, thoughts drifting to the year before, meeting his nephew. He couldn't deny it, though the idea of being a parent hadn't fully sunk in yet, there was something...exhilarating about this whole ordeal. Nerve-wracking, yet exciting. Certainly not something he thought he would be getting into so soon. He would have to ask for some advice later on. That sounded good, it had been a while since he had had some brother/sister time with Temari...
Tuesday, 2 June 2015
Diary of a Dead Man 3
This is the journal of Kamizuru Kankurou. I'm aware of that, I don't mean to pry, but I'm afraid. While he's angry at me, he probably won't listen.
This is a message to Kamizuru Kankurou that I write in his journal, to ensure he will see it. The same feeble explanation I've given out hundreds of times, I guess. It certainly feels like hundreds.
I guess first I should apologise for stealing your journal, tou-san. I didn't read anything, I promise. I just...I was afraid to read it. I've seen the bruises on your neck and I remembered what you tried to do when kaa-san died, and I didn't want to read about your suicidal tendencies, I know they're there and I don't want to know. I wish I had the power to make things okay again, but I don't. I'm just a kid, and not a very strong one at that. I don't really have any power.
Remember that night? Well, I'm sure you do. Shi-sama...I didn't mean to. I couldn't control myself. It's like I was there, but I was watching myself do everything. It was like I could just...I was....I was a tool, like our puppets. I was being used like a puppet, yeah, that sounds about right. I don't know who was controlling me, but somebody was. I was a puppet on a string. Except more alive, with a heart and soul all my own. It was painful. I wanted to beg for help, for forgiveness, but I couldn't speak. It was a miracle I could so much as cry, you know?
I didn't think anyone would believe me. The moment I had control back, I was already running, and in a panic I kept on running, until I was well beyond the village gates. I was still crying, and I was terrified. I barely understood what had happened until I sat down and got my breath back. I don't know how long I sat there. It just dawned on me what had happened. I had killed Shi-Sama. I had fought against my own father. He'd almost struck my face...good thing I'd been wearing Kaa-san's forehead protector...I think I may have even come close to death that night, several times. It was a truly horrifying thought.
I think it was starting to come morning when Tsuki found me. It certainly seemed lighter. She...well...I'd met Tsuki a long time ago, when I was in Konoha with you, dad. You were there as Mum's bodyguard and I was there as I couldn't be left home with no carers. This was before Kichona-chan was born. Tsuki was watching me and Boruto and Shikadai talking and she came over to say hello and slowly, ever so slowly, over the years as I grew older, we fell in love. I never asked how you and mum met, but thinking about this actually makes me really curious. After all, you grew up in Suna, and miles away she was growing up in Iwa. Was it like how me and Tsuki met?
She invited me to join the Akatsuki after hearing what had happened that night, and with nowhere else to go, I accepted. There I met some familiar faces, Tsuki's old friends. They'd all become this dark organisation because they felt betrayed and alone. I also met Arigeta. She looked so much like Tokageroh, it was obvious they were brother and sister. We never did speak. She didn't trust me and avoided me. If I'd mentioned Tokageroh to her, the uprising might have started even earlier.
Anyway, we'd gone out on a mission to retrieve some stupid herb. I didn't pay attention because I really didn't care. It was what happened when we came back that mattered.
I'd not really interacted with any of the girls other than Tsuki since joining. There was one other boy, but he was shy and tended not to talk to anyone in most cases. I was, without a doubt, the youngest person there. I was the junior. I'm not used to being the youngest of anything, so it sucked.
After the mission, we came back, hoping to rest. It had been long and we were really tired. I would have been happy to just collapse into a bed there and then. I remember we passed a door, and there was light shining through even though everyone else should have been asleep. Peeking in, purely out of curiosity, we saw Rio, one of the senior members of the team. She was stood in front of some weird, off-white goop that seemed to be struggling to form a human shape. A head formed, a face, young and distorted, half hidden by something. I assume hair. I thought it was a woman at first, but in a deep voice, it began letting out the most horrific, blood-curdling scream I'd ever heard! This man Rio was creating from the goop was in pain, begging to be set free. It was...well, it was horrifying. We'd burst in and she'd turned, and the soul trapped in whatever it was burst. The goop fell.
"What the hell was that?" Tsuki yelled, getting stressed. She'd been very emotional as of late. "That was Shizuka's dad! I'm sure of it, but you did something, we recovered things and you've done something! Rio, what was that?"
Rio held her hands up in a gesture to quieten her down. "It's all part of the plan, don't you worry."
"You can't honestly tell me Kiyoko OK'ed this! It looks horrifying!"
"Easy, Tsuki. The bodies of the Akatsuki are nothing more than puppets for my control. They're just tools, for me alone. And dragging the others into this isn't going to change my mind."
"Don't you dare do anything to them!"
I was mostly staying out of it, but when Tsuki took out her phone, to call Kiyoko I assume, Rio shot forward, planning on attacking.
I guess you must have taught me to act quick and on instinct, because I'd never done something like that before. I'd pulled her away, but I'd been a little slow. Chakra strings connected to her and I pulled towards me, but whatever Rio did, it hit. Tsuki was hurt. She was bleeding. She had been unprepared.
I tried to use that strange thing great grandfather tried to teach me once. The thing with the atoms and the white light. I started forming the atomic element, but I panicked. I...I did something. There was dust everywhere, something happened, but I'm sure I failed what I meant to do. I guess the confusion was good anyway. I was able to make my escape with Tsuki, and that's why I managed to make it back to Konoha...where you saw me pass Aunt Temari's house.
I'm sorry I ran off after with Karasu and Kuroari. I couldn't let what had happened stand, and neither could Tokageroh, it seems. But I promised I'd come back and I did. You must understand, especially after learning Tsuki was with child. I know you're mad at me now, but you understand at the same time and I can tell you're glad I'm back. I'm glad that me coming back might be able to help you, because I remember what you did after mum died. I remember and it hurts when I see the bruises on your neck and the scars on your arms and think that I contributed to that. I am so, so sorry. I know you're only mad because you were worried...I'm just so happy to be forgiven and safe, that all of us are safe.
I guess you can think of it this way. I left home to save the Akatsuki, to save them from being criminals, from being used as I was, from being ejected from their home for life and from a possibly horrible fate. Maybe you can be proud of me.
I never wanted to hurt anyone is all. I never wanted to fight. I wanted to be a travelling street performer and make people from all over happy...I'm just no longer sure that's a worthwhile job to go after.
This is a message to Kamizuru Kankurou that I write in his journal, to ensure he will see it. The same feeble explanation I've given out hundreds of times, I guess. It certainly feels like hundreds.
I guess first I should apologise for stealing your journal, tou-san. I didn't read anything, I promise. I just...I was afraid to read it. I've seen the bruises on your neck and I remembered what you tried to do when kaa-san died, and I didn't want to read about your suicidal tendencies, I know they're there and I don't want to know. I wish I had the power to make things okay again, but I don't. I'm just a kid, and not a very strong one at that. I don't really have any power.
Remember that night? Well, I'm sure you do. Shi-sama...I didn't mean to. I couldn't control myself. It's like I was there, but I was watching myself do everything. It was like I could just...I was....I was a tool, like our puppets. I was being used like a puppet, yeah, that sounds about right. I don't know who was controlling me, but somebody was. I was a puppet on a string. Except more alive, with a heart and soul all my own. It was painful. I wanted to beg for help, for forgiveness, but I couldn't speak. It was a miracle I could so much as cry, you know?
I didn't think anyone would believe me. The moment I had control back, I was already running, and in a panic I kept on running, until I was well beyond the village gates. I was still crying, and I was terrified. I barely understood what had happened until I sat down and got my breath back. I don't know how long I sat there. It just dawned on me what had happened. I had killed Shi-Sama. I had fought against my own father. He'd almost struck my face...good thing I'd been wearing Kaa-san's forehead protector...I think I may have even come close to death that night, several times. It was a truly horrifying thought.
I think it was starting to come morning when Tsuki found me. It certainly seemed lighter. She...well...I'd met Tsuki a long time ago, when I was in Konoha with you, dad. You were there as Mum's bodyguard and I was there as I couldn't be left home with no carers. This was before Kichona-chan was born. Tsuki was watching me and Boruto and Shikadai talking and she came over to say hello and slowly, ever so slowly, over the years as I grew older, we fell in love. I never asked how you and mum met, but thinking about this actually makes me really curious. After all, you grew up in Suna, and miles away she was growing up in Iwa. Was it like how me and Tsuki met?
She invited me to join the Akatsuki after hearing what had happened that night, and with nowhere else to go, I accepted. There I met some familiar faces, Tsuki's old friends. They'd all become this dark organisation because they felt betrayed and alone. I also met Arigeta. She looked so much like Tokageroh, it was obvious they were brother and sister. We never did speak. She didn't trust me and avoided me. If I'd mentioned Tokageroh to her, the uprising might have started even earlier.
Anyway, we'd gone out on a mission to retrieve some stupid herb. I didn't pay attention because I really didn't care. It was what happened when we came back that mattered.
I'd not really interacted with any of the girls other than Tsuki since joining. There was one other boy, but he was shy and tended not to talk to anyone in most cases. I was, without a doubt, the youngest person there. I was the junior. I'm not used to being the youngest of anything, so it sucked.
After the mission, we came back, hoping to rest. It had been long and we were really tired. I would have been happy to just collapse into a bed there and then. I remember we passed a door, and there was light shining through even though everyone else should have been asleep. Peeking in, purely out of curiosity, we saw Rio, one of the senior members of the team. She was stood in front of some weird, off-white goop that seemed to be struggling to form a human shape. A head formed, a face, young and distorted, half hidden by something. I assume hair. I thought it was a woman at first, but in a deep voice, it began letting out the most horrific, blood-curdling scream I'd ever heard! This man Rio was creating from the goop was in pain, begging to be set free. It was...well, it was horrifying. We'd burst in and she'd turned, and the soul trapped in whatever it was burst. The goop fell.
"What the hell was that?" Tsuki yelled, getting stressed. She'd been very emotional as of late. "That was Shizuka's dad! I'm sure of it, but you did something, we recovered things and you've done something! Rio, what was that?"
Rio held her hands up in a gesture to quieten her down. "It's all part of the plan, don't you worry."
"You can't honestly tell me Kiyoko OK'ed this! It looks horrifying!"
"Easy, Tsuki. The bodies of the Akatsuki are nothing more than puppets for my control. They're just tools, for me alone. And dragging the others into this isn't going to change my mind."
"Don't you dare do anything to them!"
I was mostly staying out of it, but when Tsuki took out her phone, to call Kiyoko I assume, Rio shot forward, planning on attacking.
I guess you must have taught me to act quick and on instinct, because I'd never done something like that before. I'd pulled her away, but I'd been a little slow. Chakra strings connected to her and I pulled towards me, but whatever Rio did, it hit. Tsuki was hurt. She was bleeding. She had been unprepared.
I tried to use that strange thing great grandfather tried to teach me once. The thing with the atoms and the white light. I started forming the atomic element, but I panicked. I...I did something. There was dust everywhere, something happened, but I'm sure I failed what I meant to do. I guess the confusion was good anyway. I was able to make my escape with Tsuki, and that's why I managed to make it back to Konoha...where you saw me pass Aunt Temari's house.
I'm sorry I ran off after with Karasu and Kuroari. I couldn't let what had happened stand, and neither could Tokageroh, it seems. But I promised I'd come back and I did. You must understand, especially after learning Tsuki was with child. I know you're mad at me now, but you understand at the same time and I can tell you're glad I'm back. I'm glad that me coming back might be able to help you, because I remember what you did after mum died. I remember and it hurts when I see the bruises on your neck and the scars on your arms and think that I contributed to that. I am so, so sorry. I know you're only mad because you were worried...I'm just so happy to be forgiven and safe, that all of us are safe.
I guess you can think of it this way. I left home to save the Akatsuki, to save them from being criminals, from being used as I was, from being ejected from their home for life and from a possibly horrible fate. Maybe you can be proud of me.
I never wanted to hurt anyone is all. I never wanted to fight. I wanted to be a travelling street performer and make people from all over happy...I'm just no longer sure that's a worthwhile job to go after.
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