I haven't been able to sleep lately. It's been a week, and I've just been tossing and turning while the world around me is violently disturbed. I'll pass a reflective surface and I see my little brother. He's there at his mural every day. He kicks at the flowers and cards and everything. The initial burst of excitement from the limitless world of spirits has worn off, and now the realisation is setting in. He's realising we're separated, that he's trapped, that he had wanted to do so much with his life but never got to. I don't know if he's noticed me watching him. He seems lost in his own little translucent world. I can't go anywhere without seeing him though. Is he following me?
Two more weeks passed. The mural disappeared, cleared away, and life around continued as normal for most. He took to sitting by the road, where it used to be, and staring out at the cars, counting the children as they passed. He'd always wanted children. I stood by, watching him in his sorrow as I lit a cigarette.
"You shouldn't smoke." He said suddenly. It took me by surprise and I managed to choke on my own breath. I turned to look at him, and he was watching me now, the sadness in his dead eyes reminding me of our childhood, when he had been such a crybaby...
"You can't really lecture me about health." I pointed out softly, although some people turned to stare at me.
"I didn't die from poor health, I got hit by a car." He hissed.
"You still died."
"Why are you so bitter?"
"Why do you think? I've not only lost my little brother, but he's everywhere I go. Are you following me? I always see you, and I'm forced to watch you suffer! It's painful, because I love you, and I just wish I could help you, but I can't!"
He got up then and came over, putting a finger to my lips. "Quiet. People will think you're insane."
"I'm seeing ghosts. Of course I'm insane."
"...Are you saying I don't exist?"
I stopped then, uncertain. Did I believe in ghosts? I believed in spirits, but at the moment of death those spirits were moved on to their next life, surely. "I..."
He sighed then, hugging himself and looking away. "I wish I could help you too. I don't like causing you pain, but I can't leave...and I can't leave you. I'm so lonely here, nobody else can see me or hear me! Not even the other spirits I see...they seem more solid to me than you do and it hurts because I want to still be your brother...I wish I could come back."
"I wish I could join you." I conceded.
"We could be together..."
I thought things over for a moment. "If I died I could join you."
"Don't."
"You wouldn't be lonely any more."
"Shut up."
"We could be together again, we could cross over together."
"Thunder..."
"I want to make things okay."
"Killing yourself won't do that." He tried to take my wrists, but nothing happened. I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning, I saw the concerned eyes of Starfire. Looking back, my brother stepped away, hands clasped before his chest as though in prayer. He was pleading with me.
"Friend Thunder? You are...worrying me."
I turned to her again, frowning. "What do you mean?"
"You are...always staring at empty spaces and talking to the air...there is never anybody there..."
"He's there. You just can't see him!" I insisted. "Look, he's right here, you just need to try harder to see him."
She stood beside me, and Tavis waved uncertainly, but she shook her head.
"Nobody's there."
I stepped back so she could stand where I had been standing, positioning her. "Now?"
She shook her head. "Thunder, please. Your brother is gone."
He looked to the floor, rubbing his arm with a sigh.
"You're upsetting him..." I grabbed her hair and pulled her along then, right up to my little brother's face. I feel awful about it now. "Here! Right here! He's right here! You're almost touching noses! Can't you see him? He sees you, I see him, the blonde girl sees him, it isn't just me! I am not lying and I am not crazy!"
"Please! You are hurting me!"
"He is here! He is! He has always been here and he can't move on!"
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